101 Reasons to Buy a Harley

  1. They're designed, engineered and built in the good ol' U.S. of A.
  2. They sound cool, kind of like a World War I biplane.
  3. They are not an imitation of anything but themselves.
  4. Chicks really dig 'em!
  5. There are thousands of accessories available, so you can make your Harley uniquely yours.
  6. They can be painted outrageous colors, with strange murals, and no one thinks they look terrible or silly. They just look like a Harley.
  7. There are more Harley mechanics around than for any other bike.
  8. Even an old, beat-up one still looks good.
  9. They have a rich history and century-long heritage.
  10. Almost anyone can ride one.
  11. Almost everyone knows what it is.
  12. You can get a Harley tattoo.
  13. You can get a Harley bumper sticker.
  14. Tricked-out used ones can cost more than new ones.
  15. You don't hear any songs about Suzuki.
  16. You can find more Harley parts at swap meets and flea markets than for any other bike.
  17. When you run into a car, you'll inflict more damage than with other motorcycles.
  18. You can buy a full-dress Harley with a radio, comfy seats with armrests, a big, useful windshield, solid saddle bags and a trunk, and nobody will think you're an old fart when you ride it.
  19. You never have to wonder how to spend your extra money.
  20. There's always an appropriate gift for a Harley rider.
  21. You can pretend you're a Hell's Angel on weekend rides, then go back to your real life on weekdays, without having to go to jail.
  22. An old Harley rusting in a barn could be worth more than a new Honda.
  23. Even when your Harley is stored for the winter, you can still polish it.
  24. When you say you're going to clean the bike, your spouse will always know what you're up to for the next few hours and not have to worry.
  25. It can make you smile on a bad day.
  26. It keeps cops wondering if there's a Hell's Angel or an influential judge under those leathers.
  27. It gives you the opportunity to try out every metal polish and auto cleaner ever made.
  28. It makes small dogs and young children tremble when you rumble past.
  29. Even a small Harley is a big bike.
  30. You don't have to dress like a Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger to ride a Harley.
  31. You can wear a Harley cap and not look as silly as 99 percent of the people who wear baseball caps. Except, of course, if you wear it backwards, which immediately identifies you as a dweeb, regardless of the logo. Remember, people who can't figure out which way a hat goes on are also poor prospects for mates.
  32. This reason missing. It must have vibrated off.
  33. Unlike sportbikes, you don't need to visit the chiropractor after riding for more than 20 minutes.
  34. You never have to explain or apologize for your choice of ride.
  35. No one ever asks you to race them.
  36. You girlfriend will never need to buy a vibrator.
  37. You always have something to talk about with other Harley riders.
  38. You can always find an after-market part for any Harley, no matter how old it is.
  39. The chrome is on all the right parts, yet you can always add more or take some off and it will still look good.
  40. You never have to get the valves adjusted.
  41. There is only one carburetor to adjust.
  42. They're always in style.
  43. If you ride a sportbike at 40, people will think you're either crazy or haven't grown up. If you ride a Harley at 40, people will just think you're young at heart and have style.
  44. Harley riders always have something to talk about at parties.
  45. Sure, you can ride other motorcycles to Daytona and Sturgis, but why bother?
  46. Women riding Harleys look sexy, confident and independent.
  47. Cleaning your bike is an act of love, not a chore.
  48. Harley riders have a better sex life. Honest!
  49. Harley riders are recognized world-wide. Wear a Harley cap or T-shirt anywhere in the world and someone will walk up and talk to you about your bike.
  50. People can argue endlessly about the technical advantages and ergonomics of other motorcycles, but when it's all been said, Harley riders get on their bikes and ride away with a smile.
  51. Harley riders always have a wrench handy to loan someone.
  52. Harley riders never have to worry about their Harley-riding friends asking to borrow money.
  53. A Harley rider learns to say "No" to people who ask to borrow their bike. This skill is useful when dealing with salespeople, Jehovah's Witnesses, dogs and children.
  54. Harley riders always turn heads going through the center of town.
  55. You are never lonely. You have an instant family when you buy a Harley.
  56. Harley riders don't have to worry about their bikes becoming obsolete.
  57. Long-term marriages are safer with a Harley because the husband will be too preoccupied with his bike to want to mess with other women.
  58. When someone asks, "What do you ride?" you don't have to explain what a "GSR750ATF Inducer" is. You simply say, "A Harley."
  59. You'll meet more people at bike shows and rallies who ride Harleys.
  60. When people drive too slow in front of you, you just get to ride longer.
  61. Harleys even make good rat-bikes.
  62. You can ride a Harley in rodeo and field-day competitions at bike rallies. Try riding a sportbike in the barrel-push or the weenie-bite.
  63. If you want more power, you can pump it up to your satisfaction.
  64. There are more Harley riders at any gathering than any other kind of bike rider.
  65. Old Harleys never die.
  66. Arnold rode one in Terminator 2.
  67. When you wave to another Harley rider on the highway, they'll wave back.
  68. Every Harley ever made will be sold to someone who wants one.
  69. You'll get more grins per mile, even in the rain.
  70. You don't need to know about double overhead cams to maintain a Harley.
  71. Harley riders understand that if you have two Harley's you are not rich, you simply have no money at all.
  72. Metric cruiser riders will never borrow your tools.
  73. The unique Harley rumble sounds and feels better than any other bike.
  74. You don't have to remove the engine to work on it.
  75. You can find any style of seat for every year.
  76. You can build one from the ground-up, and everyone will think it's cool.
  77. You get to tell people ,"If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand."
  78. You don't have to talk your girlfriend into going for a ride.
  79. If you're old, the idle shakes your heart like a pacemaker.
  80. They can be slow and still be bitchin'.
  81. Fat people gotta ride something.
  82. When people ask about the waiting list, you can tell them, "Yeah, I waited 33 years and 9 Jap bikes before I got one."
  83. Harley salespeople don't have to hard-sell them.
  84. They keep your neighbors from over-sleeping.
  85. Old ones keep the highways properly lubricated.
  86. You'll get lots of extra protein from the bugs in your teeth.
  87. You always know where the cars with alarms are in your neighborhood.
  88. You don't need to remove any bodywork to do a tune-up.
  89. You don't need any weight-lifting equipment to build your strength. Just drop one and try to pick it back up.
  90. You don't have to explain your mid-life crisis in detail. "Got a Harley," will suffice.
  91. If someone is foolish enough to cut in front of you in traffic, they're almost always intimidated immediately after doing it.
  92. If you get stuck in boring business meetings, you can always daydream about your last ride.
  93. You can explain, "But honey, it's economical. It gets great gas mileage!"
  94. You can putt along at only 20 mph, and still look cool.
  95. Having one is like getting to ride your entire savings account.
  96. It's an instant, non-aspirin pain reliever.
  97. If someone's head doesn't turn, you'll know they're envious.
  98. You'll never need to buy a paint shaker.
  99. When someone asks what color it is, you can answer, "Mostly chrome!"
  100. Buy one because you've wanted to ever since you were 11 years old.
  101. Print out and add your own reason to buy a Harley here: